An Ode to Apartment 306

For those of you who have had the pleasure of gracing your presence in apartment 306, you probably have witnessed the shitshow that we reside in. Well as of right now it looks like valentines day, a frat house, and more than one little sister basket threw up in this joint. Im sure for any of you who have stepped into our apartment has made the mistake of complimenting my roommate, CThokie, on the fabulous bedazzled Hokies letters above the bar.. Rookie mistake my friends. Honestly yall, I don't even know where to begin but I promised my other 2 roomies little miss glitter and hott mess that i would write this so here we are. Whether it be late monday nights getting drunk off of wine and entertaining the idea of dropping out of college and becoming groupies, trying to kill a centipede that crawled out of my sink drain (insert "how many sorostitutes does it take" jokes here), or realizing that the people who work at Jimmy Johns answer "Hey ____" every time we call, there is never a dull moment when we're all actually in the apartment at the same time. For your reading pleasure I've decided to do a little synopsis on why each of my roomies hold a place in my supposedly small and apparently non-existent heart. First comes first is Hott Mess. She had the pleasure of being my cell mate in the oh so lavish Lee Hall last year (5th floor represent) She comes from the land of NOVA which apparently stretches from sea to shining sea if you ask anyone where they are from at Virginia Tech. Although I got sexiled every other weekend last year, we have grown to be tighter than jeggings would be on an NFL middle linebacker and I wouldn't have it any other way. She is consistently the source of my morning humor on the weekends when she stumbles out of her room looking like a raccoon, and utters a combination of the following statements.."i'm still drunk","wtf did i do last night", and "i lost my camera again." (she's almost as infamous for losing everything she owns as Babes, but no one is on Babes level.)  Next comes CThokie. She comes from the north, Connecticut to be exact. (i'm sorry, damn liberals) She puts up with me taking over half of the bathroom counter and my obsession with playing my random choices in music during all hours of the day and night (disclaimer for whom i live in the sratcastle with next year) . I know I can always parade into her room and complain about how much my life sucks.. she usually just responds with some sort of version of "you are retarded," but hey ill take what i can get. If you read the last post about said walk of shame, CThokie is the one responsible for the chanting of "walk of shame" and proceeded to pound on top of her ruby red mazda as i embarrassingly stumbled out of the car.. that morning was definitely one for the books. Last but definitely not least is little miss glitter. If you know this biddy then you definitely know why this name fits her to a tee. She is from the supposed "first state", yeah freakin Delaware. Sidenote: who else has noticed that the losers from delaware literally all hang out with eachother? If you know one you know all. But anyway. She loves anything that is remotely glittery/bedazzled or anything that has bunnies on it. She is 19 going on 7(but really). She probably changes her mind more times than Brett Favre did when deciding to retire again, but hey its part of her charm. Her personal favorite thing to do in our apartment is dance around in her underwear, so if you are ever here to witness this then consider yourself special. Also, our living room doubles as her closet/ second room because literally everything she owns was strewn upon the floor and on our classy Village at Blacksburg provided couches up until about 2 hours ago. As you all probably already know I am the best roommate ever. That was a bold faced lie..it's actually my turn to do the dishes. If i weren't too embarrassed to post a picture of what our apartment looks like right now i would. I've been into many a fratcastle that is cleaner than 306 at the moment. Unfortunately for us though we don't have brand new pledges to clean it. Its thursday and i'm sad/ embarrassed to say that i will not be able to partake in tonight's festivities due to the fact that I have to travel to Georgia Tech bright and early tomorrow morning.

Don't chase anything but drinks and dreams. 

Rage on,

HannyB